The last year has been the longest decade of my life
I've done my best to keep the chaos under the radar until now, but it's time to come clean…
Everything in my life that was safe & predictable has become unpredictable.
Every healthy habit has been replaced with chaos.
Every identity that I've known - film editor, ninja warrior, podcaster, coach, father, husband, and son - has been challenged.
I've gone from proactively managing my life and working towards my goals to spending my days putting out fires and losing any sense of progress towards something meaningful.
And everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. (I should lobby to have "Murphy's Law" officially changed to "Zack's Law.")
In short, my life has become an 80's slapstick comedy - a mashup of National Lampoon's Vacation, The Money Pit, and Planes, Trains, & Automobiles (with a dash of Funny Farm for good measure).
In the last five weeks alone:
I've slept in 3 Airbnb's, 4 different hotels, and I even spent three days & nights living in a memory care facility.
I unexpectedly lost my job.
I unexpectedly had to replace my car.
I unexpectedly lost my home and had to relocate my family (throwing away half our belongings in the process).
And as you may have read recently, I also had to say goodbye to my father.
Holy hell has it been a year.
The reason I'm choosing to be so candid with you today is for two reasons:
I've largely disappeared from public view and disengaged from writing email newsletters, sharing on social media, or going to any industry events. And I miss connecting with you and being a part of this creative community I've spent a decade building from the ground up.
Something tells me that although the circumstances might not be the same, you've been through hell the last year as well. And I want you to know that you're not alone, my friend.
What doesn't kill us...amiright?
Having spent almost twenty years learning everything I can about optimizing physical & mental performance, I've had to put everything in my extensive toolbox to the test. And while I feel like I've pretty much failed every test that's come my way, somehow I'm still standing.
Just last week I met with my longtime integrative medical doctor who told me that given the amount of stress I've endured over the last year, at best I probably should've ended up hospitalized, and at worst I could've dropped dead. But instead he marveled at my lab work and how little my overall physical health has been affected.
As he put it:
"You've spent years making regular deposits into your 'health savings account'...and now you're living off the interest."
Sure I've gained some unwanted weight. And my cholesterol is a bit higher than I'd like. And Dear Lord am I out of shape right now. But given my goal for the last five weeks has been avoiding a padded room, I feel fortunate to still have my health at all.
But my doctor also shared something else with me that gave me pause:
"I'm not worried about your health. But I am worried about your well-being."
The last year has taken a significant toll on my mental health, my emotional health, and my focus. Constantly living in "survival mode" becomes exhausting to the point of wondering what the hell the point is anymore.
I share all of this because I can empathize on a very deep level with everything you've probably dealt with over the last year (and then some).
So many have not only lost their jobs but any sense of a sustainable career path.
So many feel like they have no choice but to "start from scratch."
I've spoken with Emmy winners who are delivering Uber Eats to support their families.
I've heard stories of people moving back home or to other states to start entirely new careers.
I've even read stories of people taking their own lives because it feels like there is no longer any hope left for those of us who create entertainment for a living.
But I don't believe that all hope is lost.
I do believe there is a path forwards for all of us...but it's gonna be a very bumpy ride.
I know I can't do it alone, and something tells me you probably can't either.
We're going to need each other, {{ subscriber.first_name }}.
I've been so candid with you today because I believe the best thing for my mental health is being honest about what I've been going through. I'm also sharing my story because no matter what you're going through right now, I want you to know there's a real human being on the other end of these newsletters who's going through it too.
Most importantly, there's someone on the other end of these newsletters who's ready to listen.
If you are willing, feel free to leave a comment below and share your story. The more I understand about what you and everyone else is going through right now, the better equipped I can be to help you going forwards.
Be well.
Zack