When you're going through hell, keep going
The uncertainty is paralyzing. Here's my #1 tool for managing uncertainty when it feels like all hope is lost.
Since January of 2023 when my father was first diagnosed with congestive heart failure, my life both personally and professionally can be summed up in a single word: Uncertainty. And the quote (often misattributed to Winston Churchill) that has resonated in my mind every single day has been the following:
"When you're going through hell, keep going."
As a student shared with me:
"Up until earlier this year I was very much in survival mode. Sometimes feeling like I was in the pit of hell. The feeling of being in the middle of something awful and not knowing when it’ll end…I know that."
I would argue it's not as much our present circumstances that cause the intense anxiety as it is the uncertainty of not knowing when it will ever end. If we knew the exact day we would get a job and have a paycheck again, then we could make plans. Even if that date were far off in the distance, at least we would know.
But we don't know. And that's the scariest part.
No matter the hell you may be going through right now, my best advice to you is to keep going.
But I get it...easier said than done.
My #1 Tool For Managing Uncertainty
I've received well over 100 email responses over the last week (if you haven't received a response yet, I promise I'm getting through my messages as quickly as I can, and you WILL receive a personal response from me), and a common thread has been people sharing both their condolences but also thanking me because my story inspires them. What's inspired them has been my resilience in the face of so much adversity.
"How the hell are you still so positive right now???"
Given the massive amount of uncertainty we're all facing, I'd like to share the most powerful tool that's allowed me to keep pushing forwards over the last year and a half:
Gratitude.
Yup. It's literally that simple. (But far from easy.)
Through years of education, training, and coaching I've literally rewired my mindset at the neural level to become a more optimistic person no matter the circumstances.
Ask anyone that knew me 15+ years ago...not only was I a pessimist, I was also just an asshole. I saw the downside of every situation and made sure everyone knew it. I was the buzzkill. I sucked the energy out of every situation. But when I realized how detrimental my poor attitude was to my physical health, my mental health, my ability to focus, and my ability to get consistent work and maintain relationships, I knew something had to change.
Without even thinking about it, my first reaction to just about any situation is seeing the silver lining of an otherwise very dark cloud. And then finding the humor in it.
I'm launching a new semester of enrollment and conducting my Zoom calls from a hospital waiting room while making life-or-death medical decisions between calls? How fortunate I am that my services are both in demand AND I'm in a position to help my father through the scariest time of his life.
Both of my parents are suffering significant cognitive decline - at the EXACT same time - and I need to find a safer place for them to live despite their wishes to remain on the farm they spent 30 years building? I'm just grateful my parents lived long enough that their biggest challenge is dying naturally from old age with a supportive family by their side.
I'm about to start a new season editing Cobra Kai, but wait...on the first week of production the entire industry has shut down because of dual strikes? This is a great opportunity to continue expanding the services I offer my Optimizer students.
I'm moving both of my parents into a memory care facility during Thanksgiving week? Man oh man the Thanksgiving dinner the facility made for our family is absolutely fantastic. I'm glad they will be taken care of by such nice people.
I'm flying home for my mom's 80th's birthday party, but I missed the entire thing and spent two days in urgent care and the ER because my father had a life-threatening infection? I'm just glad I'm in a position I can repay him for all that he's given me my entire life.
I get "the call" that my father has passed right after delivering the editor's cut of the Cobra Kai series finale, and I can't finish the show I've waited six years to cut? How fortunate am I to have worked on such an amazing show that will positively impact others for decades to come.
Upon arriving home from my father's funeral service I arrive to a home infested with rats and I have to unexpectedly move my family immediately? And throw away half our belongings in the process? I was thinking about moving anyways at some point, this is the motivation I needed. And who needs couches anyways?
Trust me...the stories underneath this single photo are 10 times worse than you can imagine. Yet here I am hopeful for the future despite all of the chaos & uncertainty I've experienced the last year and a half. And the singular reason I'm still hopeful is this:
I believe in my ability to figure things out.
This mindset of confidently believing the best is yet to come is what drives me to continue taking action every single day despite every part of me wanting to crawl into a ball and disappear from society.
I wasn't born this way.
This mindset is teachable.
Take Control of the Uncertainty
The single most powerful weapon against uncertainty is taking action. And one of the key ingredients that allows you to take the right actions consistently in the face of adversity is the right mindset. But mindset isn't the only ingredient.
On Wednesday I'll share with several other key ingredients that have allowed me to not only stay positive in the face of so much adversity but also take actions that have kept me moving forwards despite the universe doing everything in its power to stop me. If a significant career pivot is on the brain - but you have no idea where to start - drop me a comment below…
What’s the #1 thing holding you back from moving forwards?